My Two Cents!

From my earliest memories I attended “church” faithfully – but I wasn’t saved!
Early in life I believed that Jesus died on the cross for my sins and rose again on the 3rd day – but I wasn’t saved!
I asked Jesus into my heart and ask God to forgive my sins – but I wasn’t saved!
At age seven I had an experience in which I began to speak in tongues – but I wasn’t saved!
During “praise and worship,” I sang the songs with great zeal, and occasionally I would even dance – but I wasn’t saved!
Though fear prevented me from doing it often – I would occasionally stand out in front of Walmart and pass out “tracts” – but I wasn’t saved!
In high school I carried my Bible with me to class – but I wasn’t saved!
In high school I often endured persecution because of my “stand” – but I wasn’t saved!
Several times in life, I emptied my pockets in response to a “missionary’s” moving sermon – but I wasn’t saved!
At one time in life I sold nearly everything I had and gave up a dog I deeply loved and moved to a foreign land to share the “gospel” – but I wasn’t saved!
I made “ministry” my life and living as I devoted myself to sharing the “gospel” with children – but I wasn’t saved!
I would often rise before the sun in order to spend time in “prayer” – but I wasn’t saved!
Because of my beliefs and the assurance I had, I went through life with no fear of death. As well, I had no fear of standing before God on Judgment day. In fact, I looked very forward to the day in which I would begin my eternity with God – but I wasn’t saved!

In May of 2003, at 29 years of age, God called my name. He called me to give Him unwavering love, unwavering trust, and unwavering faithfulness. Not only did He ask for the following things to be unwavering, He also asked for them to be unconditional. He told me that I needed to give Him these things with no selfish motives. He told me not to give Him these things just because I wanted heaven and blessings, but He told me to give them to Him simply because He was worthy of them.

I heard His call and responded! I repented for all my years of wavering love, wavering trust, and wavering obedience. I repented for all my years of “serving” Him in order to gain His blessing. I then gave Him the things He asked from me (unwavering and unconditional love, trust, and faithfulness).

As a result, God was pleased! I now had God’s favor (or grace as it is called in scripture). As a result of his favor (grace) towards me, He gave me a gift. . . He made me His Son (through the gospel). And then. . . I WAS SAVED!

So what is the point? The point is this:

Do you feel saved? – So did I.
Do you have assurance of your salvation? – So did I.
Does your life bear fruit that others may consider good? – So did mine.
Are you confident that all will be well when you stand before God? – So was I.

Yes I was confident and assured; however, all my confidence and assurance was useless because it wasn’t based upon truth. Though I would have said that my confidence came from the word of God, in reality, my confidence came from the fact the millions of others believed what I did. My confidence came from the fact that my religion produced many incredible testimonies. My confidence came from the fact that I often felt what I believed to be joy during “worship services.” Since all of these things existed, I reasoned that I must be walking in truth. However all my reasoning was useless. The truth was that my religion was useless because it wasn’t based upon truth.

You can believe that two plus two equals five with all your heart, but your strong belief doesn’t make five the true total. You can get little goose bumps and burst of joy as you think of how two plus two equals five, but your goose-bumps don’t make it true. 5.9 billion people may believe that two plus two equal five, but the fact that five is the popular answer doesn’t make it truth. Just because mathematicians come to your school and tell moving stories about miracles happening as they taught others how two plus two equals five, doesn’t make it any closer to being truth. NO! Two plus two equal equals four. It will always equal four! It doesn’t matter how convinced you are that it equals five, the fact that you are convinced changes nothing. The truth still stands: two plus two equals four.

For 29 years, I sincerely believed the things I believed, but the things I believed were wrong. And because of this, they were powerless to affect my life. Fortunately, when God called my name, He called me to love the truth.

As my love for truth grew, I decided for a season to get rid of anything that could possibly be unrelated to truth. For a season of my life, I laid every book aside; I tuned out every “preacher;” and paid little attention to what others said. For that season, I learned from scripture alone. I trusted in nothing else. However, once that season was over, I found that I could not go back to the old sources of learning. When I tried, I found that my old sources were not completely based upon truth, and as a lover of truth, I wanted nothing to do with those who could tolerate untruth.

My love and hunger for truth, led me to the ultimate revelation that it was wrong to serve God for my own selfish agenda. My love for truth led me to the understanding that I was to give God unwavering love, trust, and faith. Had I not be “violent” regarding my pursuit of truth, I would have certainly given in to the warnings of those around me that I needed to take a step back and listen to the counsel of those wiser than I. However, how could I be certain that I was receiving wise counsel? The only place I knew for sure to find “wise council” was in scripture. So despite the disapproval of others, I continued to only let His word teach me. And His word didn’t lead me astray. It led me to a place of sincere repentance. It led me to a place of sincere faith towards God. It brought me to the place in which my life brought pleasure to God. And as a result, my love for truth brought me to the place in which I would become a son of God.

Dear Reader – ATTENTION PLEASE!! The Bible you claim to believe speaks of two outcomes. One is eternal life on the New Earth. The other is eternal death in the lake of fire. Have you ever really stopped to consider this? Have you ever thought about the consequences of standing before God and being found unfit for his kingdom? Have you ever allowed your mind to imagine unending darkness and unending pain? Tell me please! How can you believe that such an outcome exist and not scour the word of God night and day to make sure that that is not your outcome? How can you believe such a possible outcome exist and remain so apathetic regarding truth.

You can’t sincerely serve God just to avoid Hell. However, a good and healthy fear of Hell can be a good starting point. With such a real, terrible, and eternal possibility, would it not be wise to take a season and forget everything you’ve been taught. Would it not be wise to take a season and tune out every “preacher,” book, or anything else that could influence your belief of what is truth. Would it not be wise to pick up the word of God alone and passionately and violently pursue truth?

With Hope,
Jason Holman